2014

Four years. A long time. Reading my last posts brought back some memories and a realization of how far I've come since being on the new medication.

I am no longer nursing.  Left March 2013 to have 6 months off and ended up getting a job at Handcrafters House, a quilt shop in Midland.  This job I love. Took me a long time to settle into the position, battled the battle with the bottle again.  That was over 6 months ago. A good talking to by a fellow work mate and the risk of losing the job that I loved so much helped to wake my selfish ass up.

The kids are both in high school now, and Zach is working, casually, at McDonalds.

I need to upload some photos to the blog of what I've been doing, probably won't remember half of them.  Will have to do that via the computer, later.

Happy New Year...

January 2011.

We have just returned from a 5 night 4 day holiday on the cruise ship Athena. I celebrated my 40th on board. The day we were in Albany until lunch time and then we departed to head towards Bunbury cruising overnight. Unfortunately it was VERY rough and I parted company with my food and drinks for the day.

The next night, Australia day, was much calmer and I received a rousing chorus of happy birthday from the waiters and maitre'de as well as from surrounding tables!! I was a little embarrassed! The chef had made a birthday cake for me which I had along with apple pie for desert. My poor waist line.

I have even managed to complete my first UFO for the year. A celtic wall hanging, designed by Lisa Chandler.

I have been unreliable with my posts, the last half of last year had been a hard one. Yet again my depression had taken charge of me.. I started to see a psychiatrist....of which my opinion is low..and with a lot of experimenting and changing of tablets we are, I hope and the right path. My hormones play a high part in my mood with each month being fraught with extremes in emotions.

I escaped to Melbourne in November to get away and have a rest. Sarah joined me, being a caring companion, for the get away. Thank you to Aunty Kath and John. I have not worked in the last 5 - 6 months due to my health. I am looking at returning to work after the children return to school.

My head is still swimming and I feel as though I am on the ship still!!! Finally find my sea legs and am on the land! Yep trust me to be backwards.

Blogstipation

Ever had that. You know you need to do something but the thought and the action do not come together? I often have that with house work....I have the thought and then immediately I practice my therapy....quilting of course.

I have not worked for the whole month of September. Time off is great but the pay sucks!! I am now feeling well enough to return to the job, just need to make the phone call!!

I have been busy sewing, nothing to specific, just sewing. I made a Ricky Timms' convergence quilt yesterday, using some of the batiks I got in Bathurst. It is only a small section 28 x 36" and I want it bigger so I will play with my EQ to work something out.

I also make the batik cats last month, I really enjoyed making them.

Two lap quilts also made, one is a snowball/9patch (see August posting) and the other a disappearing 9 patch. Made the top when I went down to Fairbridge with the girls at the beginning of September.

I love the butterfly material and I think that if it were for sale I could of sold yards of it, the amount of ladies that commented on it. I almost don't want to give it away!!! We will see. After all we don't need THAT many quilts in the house, do we???!

The kids and I made sock monkeys on Thursday. One of the weekly magazines had a pattern for them, so now we have monkeys in the house!!! I might even get the kids in a picture with the monkeys and send it in to the magazine.

Have also made these 3 kimonos to go into a wall hanging, when I can get motivated enough to finish them.

School returns tomorrow for the kids, I am looking forward to a quiet day and they are looking forward to seeing their friends.

Saturday, Schlep and Sunday

Sunday, I have got an ear infection so have commenced on antibiotics. The doctor I saw also helped work out a plan to take off the rough edges for the next few days. I feel better for that.

Yesterday was supposed to be my sit and sew day. Well I had the house to myself. DD was in joondalup with my parents and DS was with his dad in the morning the with his nanny and aunt in the afternoon while David and his dad went to the football. Go the mighty dockers.

I actually managed to do some sewing. I made a schlep bag from batiks that I have in my stash. Now it took me all afternoon to do this job and trying to calculate and figure out what I was doing and reading the instructions. But I did it. I do not need another bag but I needed to accomplish a craft item and I did. It will probably get put away for the Christmas gift collection. The fact I actually managed to achieve my one goal I set myself. I felt and do feel proud.

The link for the bag I made is below and it is an online freebie so go ahead and have a gander.

http://www.sentimentalstitches.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/so-sew-easy-schlep-bag.pdf

1 hour. We are back to that. Sleep. Feeling zombie like. The wheels fell off Thursday afternoon again. The kids went to nan and grandad over night. I don't remember much. All a bit of a haze. My folks came at lunch time today spent time here. Lots of tears. Took 1/2 tablet specialist gave me to help settle self but made me feel out of control and negative thoughts were worse. I can't take them.

Sarah will be staying the weekend with mum and dad and zach will be going with Dave in the morning so I can just rest sleep and try to get this out of my system.

The glass keeps changing levels!!! I wish it would make up it's mind. I know which way I want it to be.

And the worst thing. It is my monthly sit and sew get together with the girls tomorrow and I am not able to drive there!! Will have to try something little at home, if I can

Half way- glass half empty, glass half full

24 hours ago or even a little longer the glass was half empty, heck it was not even worth having that pitiful amount of milk in the glass. The withdrawal had hit the low point, nausea, extreme lethargy, and all I wanted to do was cry or throw things or curl up in fetal position or do all at the same time.

I was so on edge...every noise, from wind to cars to the phone...talk about feeling paranoid, it was all bad omens. I then decided to take .5mg of Valium. It sheared the edges right off. I was able to potter, get dinner out of the freezer, sew a couple of border strips, finish the binding on the kitty cats wall hanging.

I made fairy cakes for the kids sports carnival and even iced them today. I could take the kids to school. The other day I could neither collect them nor could I have even taken them to school. They ended up staying the night at their Nanny and Granddad's and they did the before and after school run so I could rest. Rest I did, but I did not stay in bed and sleep, although I wanted to.

I am into the 2nd week of the wash out now, this time next week the medication will be out of my system and I can start the new tablets...I am going to have my weekend away with the girls before I start the tablets though. I want to be at home with family before I start the new medication.

My glass is half, half full, and any space in that glass is for me to keep filling, day by day, moment by moment if I have to.

I thank all my friends for reaching out...and letting me reach out to them.

xx

Oh Blogging heck - I've lost time!!

"This is the song, Elmo's song" My darling husband in an Elmo fan from way back, so for his birthday in June I made him this lap quilt, the kids picked out the panel and away I went. Needless to say he loves it. DH has just started to play basket ball with the boys from work and Dave's nick name on his singlet-- yep ELMO 13.

Crazy cats. A friend at Thursday craft group had this pattern laying around. I just loved it. Borrowed and returned pattern the following week complete with the two wall hangings. I still have to complete the binding on the right one. I love the negative and positive effect.

Here she is. My Colorado wedding quilt, absolutely complete, bound and labeled. All that work paid off don't you agree. Not ready to put it on the bed yet, will be taking it away for the weekend with the girls to Fairbridge to use as my show and tell.....need my pat on the back.

Speaking of weekend away the next picture is of an adult bib..A gift for one or other of us who has the most "catty of moments, it is the help mop up the excess milk!!"

Just thought I would show you the corner of my sewing room. The tubs are all full of material, this room is a very small study that needs to be totally over hauled, that is last on my to do list. I can still manage.

These other items are all gifts that I am preparing for friends and family, the Geisha doll is yet to have her hair put on, the Christmas bon bon can be filled with small gifts, I have already made 36 more for the residents at the Lodge where I work. They only get a $5 budget for each person for a gift from Santa so I thought that I would add something extra. The snow ball and 9 patch is yet to have the last two borders on. I will be a wedding gift for a friend. I am yet to start the other one for the bride,

I am off work again indefinitely due to being on wash out from my Antidepressant. Day 6 today, I am having the joy of constant headache, anxiety, almost a paranoia feeling and today nausea has started. On the positive side I am almost half way. I just keep drinking lots of water and resting when I need. Please if you pray, keep my family in your thoughts as it is very hard on them. The children are absolutely wonderful and I am so proud of how they step up to help me and their dad.