Saturday, Schlep and Sunday

Sunday, I have got an ear infection so have commenced on antibiotics. The doctor I saw also helped work out a plan to take off the rough edges for the next few days. I feel better for that.

Yesterday was supposed to be my sit and sew day. Well I had the house to myself. DD was in joondalup with my parents and DS was with his dad in the morning the with his nanny and aunt in the afternoon while David and his dad went to the football. Go the mighty dockers.

I actually managed to do some sewing. I made a schlep bag from batiks that I have in my stash. Now it took me all afternoon to do this job and trying to calculate and figure out what I was doing and reading the instructions. But I did it. I do not need another bag but I needed to accomplish a craft item and I did. It will probably get put away for the Christmas gift collection. The fact I actually managed to achieve my one goal I set myself. I felt and do feel proud.

The link for the bag I made is below and it is an online freebie so go ahead and have a gander.

http://www.sentimentalstitches.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/so-sew-easy-schlep-bag.pdf

1 hour. We are back to that. Sleep. Feeling zombie like. The wheels fell off Thursday afternoon again. The kids went to nan and grandad over night. I don't remember much. All a bit of a haze. My folks came at lunch time today spent time here. Lots of tears. Took 1/2 tablet specialist gave me to help settle self but made me feel out of control and negative thoughts were worse. I can't take them.

Sarah will be staying the weekend with mum and dad and zach will be going with Dave in the morning so I can just rest sleep and try to get this out of my system.

The glass keeps changing levels!!! I wish it would make up it's mind. I know which way I want it to be.

And the worst thing. It is my monthly sit and sew get together with the girls tomorrow and I am not able to drive there!! Will have to try something little at home, if I can

Half way- glass half empty, glass half full

24 hours ago or even a little longer the glass was half empty, heck it was not even worth having that pitiful amount of milk in the glass. The withdrawal had hit the low point, nausea, extreme lethargy, and all I wanted to do was cry or throw things or curl up in fetal position or do all at the same time.

I was so on edge...every noise, from wind to cars to the phone...talk about feeling paranoid, it was all bad omens. I then decided to take .5mg of Valium. It sheared the edges right off. I was able to potter, get dinner out of the freezer, sew a couple of border strips, finish the binding on the kitty cats wall hanging.

I made fairy cakes for the kids sports carnival and even iced them today. I could take the kids to school. The other day I could neither collect them nor could I have even taken them to school. They ended up staying the night at their Nanny and Granddad's and they did the before and after school run so I could rest. Rest I did, but I did not stay in bed and sleep, although I wanted to.

I am into the 2nd week of the wash out now, this time next week the medication will be out of my system and I can start the new tablets...I am going to have my weekend away with the girls before I start the tablets though. I want to be at home with family before I start the new medication.

My glass is half, half full, and any space in that glass is for me to keep filling, day by day, moment by moment if I have to.

I thank all my friends for reaching out...and letting me reach out to them.

xx